Rules: Only 1 Chuck Norris Fact per Post...

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Some kids p1ss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can p1ss his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.

In 1991, Chuck Norris shot a 14 on an 18 hole golf course, falling short of his personal best by 2 strokes.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

I've found the ultimate renewable energy.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris pushes the whole world down when he does pushups.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity..............................twice

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

http://finickypenguin.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/chuck-norris-action-jeans.jpg

Chuck Norris was born in a cabin in the mountains, which he built himself.

Chuck Norris doesn't use viagra. Viagra uses Chuck Norris.

Dominoes once delivered Chuck Norris' Pizza in over 30 minutes. Let's just say he is the reason why they ended that policy.

Christopher Reeve owed Chuck Norris $10, Chuck Norris evened the score.

Chuck Norris kicked his way out of his mother's womb, 3 months premature. He was tired of waiting.

When Jesus gets scared he prays to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris knows what you did in Vegas.

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

Sonny Bono once cut Chuck Norris off while skiing. Once.

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Jesus wears a bracelet that says WWCND

Chuck Norris's motto is "a$$-kickin' good." KFC tried to sue him, but he broke their copyright in half with one kung-fu grip. To this day, all KFC's will cross the street when they see Chuck Norris.

1 'nuff said

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

A mugger shot Chuck Norris 28 times in the head once. Chuck Norris laughed for so long that the mugger died of old age.

Chuck Norris stared evil in the face, and it backed down

Chuck Norris sued James Cameron for using his image without permission in Terminator 2. Chuck Norris lost the court case, which is why the Titanic really sank.

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger are in heaven and they're trying to decide who sits next to God. Vin Diesel said I should be the one because I'm the most fit, Arnold said he should since he is the Governor of California, Then Chuck Norris turned to God and said God get out of my chair!

chuck norris`s p***s is so big it has its own p***s and that one is still bigger than yours!!

when chuck does press ups he doesnt push himself up he pushes the planet away from him

Chuck Norris could shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick him in the face before the bullet hit.

Chuck Norris can nuke Heraklion.

Chuck Norris can nuke Heraklion.


hahahahah good one ;ipunk

Chuck Norris doesn't put his jeans on one leg a time. He roundhouse kicks it into submission until they meekly crawl up his legs.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery

Scientists believe the world began with the "Big Bang". Chuck Norris shrugs it off as a "bad case of gas".

Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims

Chuck Norris can strangle people with a WLan-cable.

Chuck norris redefined physics by running around the world and punching himself in the back of the head.

death had a near chuck norris experience

chuck norris is the reason you lock your doors and say your prayers each night. Not that it helps.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels.

There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can plant his resources every 24h

Um, actually, Chuck doesn't plant resources, they plant themselves for him!

When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg," Chuck Norris is never the rotten egg.

Rocky may be able to do 50 1-handed push-ups, but Chuck Norris prefers to use no hands.

Um, actually, Chuck doesn't plant resources, they plant themselves for him!

Chuck Norris always get 600 diamonds per mine.
unlike the poor of us... mumble, mumble... getting 100 so often

Chuck Norris doesn't need to put nuke shields on his cities. He is the nuke shield.

Chuck can hit Chania without the 15 key citys cuz he's Chuck

Chuck Norris can woo piggdawg out of his pink thong any time he wants.

CHUCK KILLED OCTAVIAN

Chuck Norris had a star before Luke made them.

Chuck Norris gets interest over 60,000

Chuck Norris does not nuke, he roundhouse kicks are that powerful that they have the same effect on a city!

Chuck Norris once received a pm asking for a city to be returned... Once!!

Chuck Norris eats lightning and farts thunder.

and farts thunder.


:blush2Rosie O' Donnell does that :growse

Luke didn't hide Atlantis, Chuck Norris sank it.

Chuck Norris gets interest over 60,000
lol nice one

Chuck Norris's tears can heal Cancer - too bad that he never cries...

Do you know the Dead Sea? Chuck Norris killed it.

Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.

chuck norris is keeping world peace a prisoner in his basement

When Chuck Norris plays the DOND game, Banker's first offer is 11,000 geos

Chuck Norris can occupy a city even shortly after nuking.

Chuck Norris does not need to nuke a city. He just walks in.

If you get 3 Chuck Norrises in slots, you nuke every city.

There is only one Chuck Norris. When you play slots and he shows up it means you are busted and Chuck will take all your money and add it to the jackpot!

An army with Chuck Norris in it is equivalent to 1,000,000,000,000 troops.

If Chuck Norris is in your army, there is zero travel time.

If you have Chuck Norris in your city, no one can nuke it. Nukes are too afraid to go near Chuck Norris.

An army with Chuck Norris in it is equivalent to 1,000,000,000,000 troops.
That cannot be true! That would mean an army with 1,000,000,000,001 troops could beat Chuck Norris - and as we all know, beating Chuck Norris is impossible...

If Chuck Norris has a city, not even Luke can take it.

Only for germans:

Chuck Norris bekommt immer 20% bei Praktiker. Auch auf Tiernahrung!

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He is waiting.

Chuck Norris once had the idea to fill his sperm into tins. today this is known as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris is the man from nantucket

Only for germans:

Chuck Norris bekommt immer 20% bei Praktiker. Auch auf Tiernahrung!



LMAO ;bravo

Chuck Norris is....wait, let's let Peter explain...

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/yt-tSCSNvifE94/chuck_norris_on_family_guy/

god I love this show.

Go to www.google.com and type "Find Chuck Norris".

Click on "I'm Feeling Lucky" and you will get your answer.....

It can blend everything, but can it blend Chuck Norris?

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=NdD54rG9oQA&feature=channel

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/funny-dog-pictures-chuck-norris-doggie.jpg

Chuck Norris' account data can't get corrupted by an evil virus. Chuck Norris corrupts the virus.

Never saw this thread you will all hate me because I know 1000's of these :D

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law & Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs

I haven't read the thread so sorry if I am repeating what someone already said

Chuck Norris does have any armies, if he wants a city he points his finger at it and says, "Bang"

http://comixed.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/129090133994726347.jpg

Chuck Norris doesnt refine Uranium, he pees on Lead and that process alone turns it into Nuclear grade Uranium!

http://epicwinftw.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/129107329141348927.jpg

Chuck "nukemaster" Norris can nuke homebases and armies outside cities. If Chuck Norris nukes a city, the armies can not go out while the nuke arrives.... I want to be Chuck Norris

Most people know that Descartes said, “I think, therefore I am.” What most people don’t know is that that quote continues, “…afraid of Chuck Norris.”

http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/129182620246894550.jpg

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

The Internet was modelled off Chuck Norris's Vascular System.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish in water!

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris Approves of this thread!

http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/chuck.gif

http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/chuckball.gif

http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/political-pictures-chuck-norris.jpg

http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/56e43ed3-cb3a-481c-bbad-0c1e35a50fd7.jpg

If Chuck Norris was homeless would you help him?http://crossfitmaximus.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/chuck_norris.jpg

If Chuck had a long lost brother/uncle, this would be him.

http://j.static-locatetv.com/images/content/4/46059_mantracker.jpg

MANTRACKER!

there is a violent version of chuck....its this guy

http://murasakibjj.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/bas-rutten.jpg

Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

Chucks toliet paper.http://petticoatsandpistols.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/chuck_norris_toilet_paper1.jpg

http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/498f9c01-679f-433d-a686-f5b9ffda1bae.jpg

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 　No money no way in real life,no gold no way in game!

Is this bot serious... posting in a Chuck Norris thread about Little Robert :D

http://blogs.pcmag.com/securitywatch/2010/02/chuck_norris_bot_infects_route.php

Chuck Norris doesnt get bots posting on his forum. He sees them coming and round house kicks his computer so hard that it sends a huge electronic pulse down the line and knocks the bot out.

http://www.legaljuice.com/chuck%20norris.jpg

http://www.merchandisingplaza.com/images/products/30028/img1.jpg

Why is this bot a donator?

Why is this bot a donator?

If you have a close look you will see the colour of a donator's different...

It's the colour of banned. Usually you don't see it as a bot's post gets deleted. But this one was funny because of the thread posted in(and the links are deleted). Eventually(few days) I'll delete it anyway to make sure we don't invite more bots. Bots sometimes check the link of the post automatically to see if it still exists. This to see if a forum is heavily moderated or not.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC

http://epicwinftw.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/9a0b8860-9ccb-48a3-93ed-0aa24d148c10.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmbIT2y2lKQ

December 1st, 2010 You attacked the army chuck norris (Martok) outside the city of Kavaratti, India. You killed the army (38,693 troops). 34,962 attacking troops were killed.

Who'd have thought, a mongoose can beat Chuck Norris haha.

Your army chuck norris was attacked by RagingMongoose outside the city of Kavaratti, India. Your army was not killed in the battle, but you lost 336 troops. 300 attacking troops were killed.

But the 300 obviously can't... :D

So its Spartans < Chuck Norris < RM? Theo's not going to like that. :mad:

Fact, Chuck doesn't like chainsaws:

http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/funny-gifs-chainsaw-chuck.gif

oh wow... hi ska! This gif is awesome. :)

http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/c2c/share/27/274/433/2743347_370.jpg

http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/9876852.jpg

That is so wrong. Chuck Norris never came from anything.

He just happened....ever here of the big bang? That was him punching his way out!

Chuck Norris once scared a girl, she is still crying... Her name is Justin Bieber!!

Chuck Norris scares lots of people - he is discovering all the dup accounts.

Smaller alliances never had a chance, and the biggest Alliances resorted to having dup accounts.

Go Chuck Norris go.