I had a very amusing yet embarassing thing happen to me yesterday and it got me thinking about how you could all earn some extra cash by sharing your amusing stories. Ok so the rules of this game are:-

1. You tell us something very amusing that happened to you or a friend, this has to be true and not just one you googled (I will be checking the search engines for them).

2. You can only submit 2 entries maximum.

3. The competition will be judged by the staff.

4. Closing date is Saturday 11th November at 1700 server time.

5. Most importantly the prizes.
1st Prize 2000 geos
2nd Prize 1000 geos
3rd Prize 500 geos

6. Please note the staff's decision is final and we will not be taking bribes. :D


Ok so I shall start this off with 2 stories (but obviously I am not entering the competition).

1. Went to the car wash yesterday morning, but was so busy singing my head off in the car to realise that the washer rollers had actually stopped on my windscreen as had 2 washer rollers also stopped on the passenger and driver doors. Half a sandwich and 2 songs later I thought to myself god this car wash is taking forever, when just under the rooller on the front windscreen I could see this little pair of legs run out face the front of my car and make a dash back into the garage. It was at this point that I thought I am stuck I cannot even get out of this bloody car. It took them 20 minutes to detach the washer rollers from my car and I had quite an audience when I finally got released from the washer. It was extremely embarassing and I have to say I will avoid that garage for a good few months now.

2. A friend of mine had just started dating this guy when he decided to take her to meet his parents and family. Now he was quite a well to do young man, and his family rather wealthy, so she thought it would be best to try to be on her best behaviour. Anyway, after dinner they all retired to the large conservatory on the back of the house. My friend needed the toilet so excused herself, she was a little embarassed as she needed a poo, so decided to use one of the upstairs bathrooms, so as to not smell the downstairs out. Anyway having finished her business in the toilet, she flushed and proceeded to wash her hands, just as she was about to walk out the door, she checked the toilet and low and behold there was a floater, so stuffing lots and lots of toilet tissue down the loo to get rid of it, she proceeded to flush again praying that this flush would just get rid of the embarassing item. But No it would not go down, after about 3 attempts, she decided the only thing left to do was to take drastic action, and hooked this poo out of the toilet in a small piece of loo roll and lobbed it out of the bathroom window. Proud that she had finally gotten rid of it and of course after washing her hands again, she walked back down stairs to again try to be the nice new girlfriend, only as she walked into the conservatory she could not help but wonder why everyone was looking at the ceiling, she followed their gaze only to see a nice brown pink wrapped thing slipping down the roof of the conservatory leaving a nice trail behind it. Needless to say she made a hasty retreat from the house and stopped seeing the guy immediately after this atrocious date.

Is really that common to take poo out of the toilet, i know 2 stories about that, one is pretty similar to your story, only that the bathroom window goes to a living room, where nobody was at the time, my friend didn't know what they did when they found it, he never return to that house either...

Work related, sorry:
1- I'm a software analyst, one time i finish some work in a bank, when i was going out with the bank counterpart, we pass by some of the IT cubicles, when we saw one employee that pressed enter and inmediatedly grab the keyboard cord and fold it firmly, then he unplugged the keyboard from the computer and took a deep breath, when someone ask him what happen, he responds:"man, i almost shut down the wrong mainframe", in that moment every phone in that department start ringing, and i was quickly taked out.

1. Well my family and I were bored (we lived out in the middle of nowhere) so we decided to go on a nice little family excursion. To start off we went to a family diner and had a great lunch (I got the 1/2 pound Bacon Cheeseburger it was like a religious experience). As we were eating my dad sees this sign for a fair that was going on and he says "Let's go to it!" We all decided it would be great so we got in our car, got directions, and head off. So we drive for awhile following the signs for the fair until we see a long line of antique cars, so we think "Oh they must be part of an antique car show at the fair, so if we follow them we'll get to the car show!" Now keep in mind we are driving a 1997, Green, Mercury Villager in no way an antique car. So we follow the antique cars and we begin to notice that the roads are blocked off so my dad quickly realized it was an antique car parade but we can't get out. We decide that we can just go into reverse until we reach a street that wasn't blocked off. Well, that would have worked BUT another group of cars came in froma blocked street behind us and we were cut off. So we're stuck in the middle of an antique car parade with tons of cheering people, who suddenly stop their cheering and give us the "What the !@#$%?" look. And what does my dad tell us? "JUST WAVE!"

Many years ago, back when I was 18-19 or so I was on the Tobin Bridge in Boston.
This was before the Big Dig and delays on the Tobin were VERY common. The bridge was 4 lanes I think all going one direction with a tier underneath going the other way.
Some friends and I were on the way into Boston to spend a weekend. I was driving the first car I had bought all by myself and it was like a 2 year old Subaru with a sunroof and tricked out in all manners. It was my toy and I pampered it, it got a coat of wax like once a week. So we were stuck in traffic and it was going NOWHERE, but the car beside us had 3 very pretty girls and since it was summer and windows were open I stood out the sunroof and broke the ice. And things were going great, they were cute, we were presentable and we had almost convinced em to meet us that night.
So traffic started to slowly move, start stop, only a few feet at a time and we were doing pretty good and making nice progress with the girls. I was still mostly out the sunroof and driving by standing on pedals but since we were only going 2-3 miles an hour no big deal.

Well as you can guess traffic stopped at one point, I didn’t and I hit the car in front of me. That was of course a brand new BMW with the dealer plates still on it. It was being driven home after being purchased and the lady in it was PISSSED. So of course we had to get out and do a detailed inspection, nowhere or way to pull over so we just stopped and traffic decided then to move so we were not making friends.

So a few million people started to honk and yell, the lady was going ballistic and I was considering jumping off the bridge.

Finally she decided her car was ok, since we were going like 2 miles an hour it wasn’t even scratched, and she finally shut up and got back into her car and we started moving. I was totally freaked out, and so embarrassed I was willing to crawl under my seat and die. So we then caught up the 1/2 mile or so traffic had moved…

And ended up, right beside the girls again. So my friend in the passenger seat leans out the window smiles and says “So, where were we?”

Needless to say, they did not meet us that night…
And the guys still tell the story better than I could at every opportunity.

Very funny both of you keep them coming guys, I have certainly had a giggle so far.

Well this one happened to me at work a couple of years ago.

Anyone familiar with The Office (UK version) will know the character of David Brent very well. Needless to say my old manager was an exact replica of him, in both the way he looked and especially acted.

One day myself and a colleague were emailing each other back and forth with some pretty funny comparisons about my manager to TV characters in general, when i sent one back comparing his managerial skills to David Brent.

I looked over to my colleague's desk a couple of minutes later hoping to see her doubled over with laughter, but there was no response on her face at all. It was then I checked my "sent items" and to my horror saw that I sent the email to my manager instead! (i'm sure most of us have a moment like that to tell.)

Well i bolted into his office hoping that he hadn't read it yet while thinking of some way to make him delete it without reading it, but as soon as i walked in there he asked "who's David Brent?"

Well, thank god he had never seen the show before, so i made up some lame story about a Management seminar i had recently taken, which a guy by the name of David Brent was the facilitator. Yes folks he actually bought it!!! (like i said earlier, he really was like David Brent, even enough to enjoy having smoke blown up his arse when anyone else would have realised I was just telling porky pies!!)

I can't remember the exact wording in the email, but it was dripping with sarcasm, which does not always translate well over email, so he did not realise that i was taking the piss out of him!

1)

Years ago I had a girlfriend I broke up with.
In the weeks following that she sent me some mobile text messages saying she still loves me. I didn't respond.
Then one of my best female friends had to bury one of her friends who died in a car accident.
That day I wanted to sent her a text message saying 'Just to let you know I'm thinking of you today and I love you. Kisses, Luke'.
Well....I sent it to my ex-girlfriend instead by accident :o. Very awkward.

2)
I went to a disco with my sister. A small girl with long dark hair.
I was looking out over the dance floor, when the big switch happened behind me.
My sister walked towards the bartender to order something to drink, when another small girl with long dark hair and a black jacket took place behind me.
She was standing with her back towards me.
I had to go to the toilet.....I stretched my arms around her, and whispered in her ear:'Luke has to do pee-pee'.
Well.....the stranger was shocked, turned around and said 'WHAT THE...?'.
The only thing that came out of my mouth was 'WOOPS. WRONG SISTER!':o
I quickly ran off :o

Here's one that was very embarassing. And only a week ago.

I happen to coach my sons soccer team. Well the season ended last week and we decided to have the obligatory pizza party for all the kids at the local pizza joint. As usual we were running late and so when we pulled up I could see the 20 kids (players plus siblings) all crammed into the party room at the restaraunt. My head hurt just looking at the chaos already happening inside. I hop out of the car, put on the emergency brake, grabbing the trophies and my two kids and lock it. We go inside and eat pizza and do all the normal stuff at a party like this. After 1.5 hours it is finally time to leave. My wife decides to run outside to put away some of the stuff we brought before the kids come out. Upon her return she asks me if I know where my keys are. I check my pockets. Not there. I figured I just dropped them somewhere inside the restaraunt. Nope. She drags me outside with a very angry "Listen!". Somehow I managed to leave the car running for the entire time we were inside eating pizza. And I locked it. Fortunately my wife had her keys but I was quite embarrassed as the other parents came out and realized what I had done. 1.5 hours the car ran that night for no reason. It is a good thing our gas prices have gone down so much the last few months. Man was that embarrasing...

If anyone is from Chicago they can relate to the 2nd story.

My family and I were vacationing in Chicago with my sister, her husband and their two kids. We drove two mini-vans at the time and the time is late November so it gets dark very early. We went to a childrens museum late in the day and were heading back to our hotel. The problem was that sometime between the time we left and the time we were coming back the city decided to start road construction. Needless to say we became very lost. After driving around for a few minutes trying to find our way out we happen across two police cars parked in a church parking lot. We decide to ask directions since the neighborhood we are in (down by the University of Chicago for those of you who know the area) has houses with bars on the windows and all the streetlights broken out. We get out and walk up to the police officers who are standing outside their cars. Immediately both of their hands go to their weapons. After a couple tense moments and explaining ourselves the police officers tell us that the gangs have been very busy this night and they were just finishing up the paperwork for a homicide that occurred down the street. One of the police officers asks us the direction we were heading. We proceed to point and tell him and he starts shaking his head. "I can tell you for sure that if you go that direction you wont come out the other side. And I can tell you that if I let you keep driving in here tonight I'll be having another report to finish." He orders us back to our cars telling us that tonight we get a free police escort out of the area. As we got back to our vans his lights come on and he speeds out onto the street. We literally went through several stop signs and traffic lights behind the cop as he took us back to the interstate. It was very harrowing to say the least as the oldest of the children at the time was 5. I dont know if he was exaggerating or not but I really didnt care. I was just glad to be back to the interstate.

Number 3 when I was 16 years old.

My best friend and I were driving around in his newly purchased jeep on a Saturday night. We had a friend that worked at a gas station so we decided to go visit and get some gas (and free beer but that doesnt really play into the story). We went into the station and started b.s.ing with our friend. After only about 5 minutes a very drunk, and very smelly old guy walks into the station. He goes to the back and comes up with a case of beer. No big deal, right. Until he looks over at us and accuses us of stealing candy. "I saw you put it in your pockets." he says. Which we honestly hadnt done. Being beligerant 16 year olds we show him our pockets and have a few choice words to say to the guy. We argue back in forth for a while, offering to call the police to come investigate. He doesnt want to go down that road so apologizes to us, pays for his beer and leaves. End of story, right? Wrong. After about 20 more minutes we decide it was time to go and hit the town. As soon as we get out to the jeep and climb in here comes Mr. Drunk guy. He starts spouting off at us again about stealing candy and being thieves, blah, blah, blah. Of course we get out of the jeep and come around to pound the guy if we have to. That's when he draws back his shirt and pulls out the biggest revolver I've ever seen in my life. He proceeds to tell us that he is an ex-police officer and he doesnt take sh** from punks like us. All the time pointing and waving the gun at us. After a few more minutes spent trying to calm him down he tells us he is going to teach us a lesson. I thought I was going to get shot. He tells us to move out of the way and points the gun at the hood of the jeep. He was going to shoot the jeep! Click. Click. No bullets. He forgot to load the thing. Recognizing he is now in deep do do he takes off running. Of course my friend and I are a little unnerved to chase him so we go back inside and call the police (this is after taking the case of beer he set down and hiding it in the back seat). The police come and we give the full details. Evidently they found the guy passed out hanging over a fence about half a mile away. I'm not even sure what happened to the guy in the end. But it has been a heck of a story to tell friends through the years...

Sorry. I was only supposed to enter two. But all three are good stories...

But the contest was for funny stories, and at the very least, I can't say the 2nd one was...

This one isn't about me, but I witnessed... during one normal summer's day I was visiting my friend, he lives up the street, we heard the alarm of his car go off. Back story, he loves this car and will beat anyone who touches it without permission. Upon hearing the odd rhythm of beeping he runs outside and sees some people our age running. The keys are no where to be found so my friend gets on a his bike and starts hauling a** up the road, little does he remember his uncle is visiting and parked the Porsche he drives just around the corner of the road. My friend skids around this corner right into the hood of the Porsche, flips over the handlebars somersaulting over the car, knocking loose the spoiler and sending him crashing onto the two guys who were messing with his car, they were now trying to break into it instead. Small world?

Well I am shamelessly bumping this thread, I take it from the lack of responses you guys obviously do not need the money. I am going to extend this for another few days until Monday 1700 server time, but that will be your last chance.

Well looks like we do not have many entries but I am going to put this up in the staff forum for them to judge and will give you the results before the week is out.
Thanks to all of those that partook.

Well done to everybody who took part, it looks like we have our final votes in, so without further ado:-

1st Jammo - 2000 geos
2nd Darthrevan 1000 geos
3rd Luke/aravan 500 geos each

As for the other 3 players who took the time to write an amusing story I am going to pop 250 geos each into your account as way of thanks for taking the time to post.


CLOSED