Now this is how it works...

PERSON 1:
I wish for my own Car.

PERSON 2:
Granted, but it breaks down on the highway. As you step out of your car to take a look at it you get hit by another car and go flying into a dead deer.

I wish I had a cookie.

PERSON 3:
Granted, some porn site cookie; now they know your email address and will spam you to death!

I wish...

Lets start shall we? :)


I wish I had a taco...

Granted, but the taco gives you food poisoning and yoyu are sent to hospital by you family memebrs.
I wish i had a hotter nurse!

Granted, but after being caught in the fire, she appears disformed.

I wish I had a newspaper

Granted, but it's in Japanese and is from 1894.

I wish I had all the money in the world

Granted, but it is all a bit chared and unusable from imjustagirl's "hotter nurse" fire.

I wish I had a reason.

Granted, but it's based on bad information.

I wish I had a monkey.

Granted, but it's an african biting spider monkey.

I wish i had a girlfriend : )

Granted, but she is irrepairable

I wish i had a brown paper bag of dog poo on tara's front door step *nods*

Granted, but it's her old house and she doesnt live there anymore :p

I wish I could travel through time

Granted, but you discover that time-travel doesn't work like you thought. You go into the future to see yourself, when you realize since you haven't returned to the present yet, and it's altogether possible that you won't, you're nonexistant from the future.

I wish I had another roll.

Granted, one used roll of toilet paper. :)

I wish there was world peace

Granted, right after the nuclear holocaust that destroys every living thing except roaches and twinkies.

I wish I had another wish.

granted, you have another wish but i steal the monkey paw before you can wish again

i wish i had legally aquired a bottle of the worlds finest beer

Granted, however the beer is so intoxicateing you forget to lock your house at night, a burgler comes in and steals everything, you get kicked out and you live on the streets as a bum.

I wish i had an atom of helium

Granted, but it gets lost in the post.. when they finally do locate it they run tests on it and notice it is particularly unstable, it is locked in a mental institute untill further notice.. you can visit it Tuesdays between 8:05am & 8:10am :)

I wish I had a fish

Granted, but you fill the fish tank with H2SO4 instead of water and the fish evaporates :growse

I wish i had a 100mbps dsl connection.

Granted, but you can only get to hampsterdance.com

I wish I had a new cell phone

Granted, but you can only call 911
I wish i had a castle

Granted, you move your king two squares towards a rook, then move the rook onto the square over which the king crossed.

I wish I had a Ferrari.

Granted, but you forget to put oil in its engine, so when you turn on the car the engine burns and the whole car burns, the tree infront of your house caughts the fire then your house and the whole neighbourhood burns too!

I wish i had an answering machine.

Granted, but it takes on the task of taking over your life and stealing your friends because it's so much nicer then you.

I wish i had a nuclear holocaust safe bunker

Granted, but you can't find the key and the nukes are on their way.

I wish I had a space ship.

Granted, but it can only fly to the sun.

I wish I knew how many Geos NAR has.

Granted, but the game resets instantly.

I wish i had an empty pen.

Granted. All the pigs that were in it have wandered into your house.

I wish I had a pony.

granted, it is also your new girlfriend.

I wish i had a holo deck.

Granted, but the door becomes a figment of your imagination and you are trapped in cyberspace forever

I wish i made cold fusion

granted, but you swap the experiment glass for your water and drink it.

I wish i had remote acces to Luke's computer.

Granted, but all the monkey porn you accidentally find requires years of therapy.

I wish I had all of Luke's monkey porn.

granted, but you find pictures of yourself in compromising positions in amongst the monkey porn, in shock you then fall off your chair, hit your head off of a sardine tin and go into a coma

i wish i had a genie with infinite wishes rather than a stupid monkey paw

Granted, but the genie is so scary that you go into a coma at the moment you see it, when you wake up you forget where you left the bottle that the genie is inside.

I wish i had a remote control.

Granted, but there is not electrical energy in your house.

I wish i had a boxer kangaroo to make fortune with their fights.

Granted, but it quickly defeats all the other kangaroos AND boxers, takes the world lightweight, middleweight and heavyweight titles, fires you as his manager and goes into a depression when it finds out that Mohommad Ali won't come out of retirement to fight him.

I wish I had a band.

Granted. You get banned for 7 days for constantly hitting on Tara. And Timmie.

I wish I had a cupcake.

http://www.mac.com/.cards/en_US/Current/Categories/birH/Cards/bday_cupcake-/bday_cupcake-WEB.jpg
Granted, but pussycat eated all before delivering it

I wish i had 2 hawaiians girls dancing on my desktop right now

Granted. God smites you for being a pervert.

I wish god didn't smite me that much.

Granted. Now that God isn't interested in you anymore, Satan takes a keen interest in your... future.

I wish I had a puppy.

Granted. The puppy buries up a bone of a plague victim, you die of the boils.

I wish i had another night with Luke's girlfriend.

Granted, but she have changed sex ;)

I wish Tim had another night with luke's girlfriend....

granted and she even decides to take you along to join in the fun!

i wish that i was the ruler of the universe

Granted. But you become me.

I wish i had a faster computer.

Granted, but it's japanese technology and you don't understand it

I wish i had a big tree giving watermelons in arizona desert

Granted, but Saddam Hussein is the president of Iraq again, he nukes arizona desert because he hates watermelons.

I wish i was a pharaoh.

Granted, but the people arise and bury you and your stargate in the middle of the desert.

I wish I could take a nap.

Granted, but your relatives think you are dead and they decide to get rid of your body the indian way by burning!

I wish i was a lion.

Granted, but then you get hunted into extinction.

I wish I could play the piano!

Granted, but the only song you can play is baby got back by Sir Mix A lot.

I wish I had a plunger.

granted but your love for superman made you attempt a skyscraper climb and you fell and broke your tailbone (now you poop crooked)

I wish I could sing

Granted, but all that singing ruins your vocal cords in a matter of weeks swelling your throat so that you have to sip your dinner though a straw.
I wish I was taller.

Granted. now you wish you were a baller.

Wish i had a girlfriend, if i did, i would call her.

Granted, but you call her "fat beeyatch" and she shoots you in the neck with a harpoon gun.

I wish I could fly.

Granted. But you are not "fly" and get gangraped by your own gang and your body dumped in the ocean.

I wish I could code.

Granted, but Luke then mistakes you for Zyroyl (spelling?) and bans you from gewar for life.

I wish I could speak spanish

Granted, but Spanish is the only language you can speak but you think it is English and Luke ends up banning you from the GEWar forums.

I wish I had a ten foot pole.

granted, you get a 10 foot pole, however Timmetie uses this to give you a private poledancing show along to the tune of "Too Sexy" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvDD8NWf_-c), a cucumber was also involved...

i wish that nobody else could have a wish

Granted, but my name is not nobody else and so does not apply to me!!

I wish I was in Las Vegas visiting my best mate

Granted, but you and your mate lose all your money playing blackjack and have to resort to dancing in one of the men "clubs" to earn enough for a plane ticket home.

I wish this thread would go off-topic.

Granted ;offtopic but the man with the sign dies from exhaustion after having to hold the sign for years.....

I wish I could meet Mucha








Just to clarify my friend would look a bit strange dancing in a mens club, unless it is a "special" mans club as my friend is a guy.

Granted, but then Mucha's ex comes after you with a pitchfork. So in a last ditch effort you run inside your house pull out a sledge hammer and wing it at her. When you realize what you did it is too late, you are put on trial and sent to a prison for murder, only thing is you get to a nice game a "base ball" you become know as the catcher since you can amazingly catch 2 balls at once. not not just any balls, big soft balls.

I wish I were rich and famous

Granted. You are rich in venerial diseases and famous for goat sodomy.

I wish I could play the trumpet.

Granted. You are rich in venerial diseases and famous for goat sodomy.

I wish I could play the trumpet.


Granted but after being so good and getting all these awards some punk super glue's the mouth piece and your mouth is forever stuck to the metal trumpet. you become known as the human duck

I wish I was really big and strong

Granted. You are now 400 pounds (big) and smell like a locker room (strong smelling).

I wish I could talk to animals.

You can but only in Latin, which as we all know is a language as dead as the Romans.

I wish that I could beat the entire Indian cricket team single handedly with a bat as big as my head

Granted, but your head is so big that you can't pick up the bat to beat them.

I wish i was Beyonce's owner

Granted, but because you are her owner everyone wants to buy her from you and you become so well known that you have to move to a small village in Indonesia to get away from it all.

I wish I could spontaneously combust and then reform.

Granted. Well, on the first part, at least.

I wish I had telekinesis.

Granted, except the first time you used it your brain exploded becouse you are too dumb for telekenisis.

I wish I had 3 million geos and that nothing could go wrong

granted, you have 3 million geos and "nothing" could go wrong (e.g. you could spell it "nohting" so "nothing" could go wrong) but you then try to take atlanta off of me and fail miserably!!! ;111

i wish that the next person that replies gets 5 wishes

granted but the wishes are extremely dumb

i wish i had a dollar
i wish i had another dollar
omg i wish i had a third dollar
holy crap one of these days i ll get rich.. i wish i had a fourth dollar
i wish i had a fifth dollar!!!!

Granted. You have 5 dollars. Total. For the rest of your life.

I wish this thread would never end.

Granted, now you're making dollars as a streethooker and spending them on crack.

I wish I was ugly, dumb and a nerd. :D

Granted. You have 5 dollars. Total. For the rest of your life.

I wish this thread would never end.
Granted, but I kill you because you posted before me on the specter response.

I wish next time I'm the first to asnwer.

Granted, but your response is so pointless that people call you a dumb, ugly nerd.

I wish I could take Atlanta.

granted.. but the confederate army loses and slavery is abandoned.. no more cotton..

i wish birq stopped ringing the cowbell

Granted, but he then started hitting a triangle.

I wish I could not have my wish turned into something bad.

Granted, but you died and you didn't have the pleasure of being the only one who corrupted the system of corrupt-a-wish.

I wish ...

Granted...

I wish that I could own the world.

Granted...

I wish that I could own the world.
Denied.

Thread ends.

granted but specter posts again and the thread continues

i wish warren would stop being so stupid

denied

i wish that christina aguilera's car broke down outside my house and she needed "help with her trunk"

Granted, but when you realise what "her" "trunk" was, you fainted and woke up with a funny gait.

I wish I had a tissue.


http://www.twoluvcats.com/smilies/insults_me/voicesblinkie.gif

Granted. As soon as the wounds heal, you'll have lots of scar tissue.

I wish I had a glass of ice water.

Granted. As soon as the wounds heal, you'll have lots of scar tissue.

I wish I had a glass of ice water.


Granted but the water has been infected with a deadly virus.

I wish could get laid

Granted, but you're laid to rest, only inches deep, and the wild dogs are hungry.

I wish I had perfect pitch.

Granted... but your perfect pitch sold a defective product. Thousands are Suing you for millions you don't have.

I wish I had 3 million geos :D

Granted... but your perfect pitch sold a defective product. Thousands are Suing you for millions you don't have.

I wish I had 3 million geos :D


Granted, but it's 3 million geos worth of troops heading to all your cities

I wish my great grandma was still living to enjoy fresh cookies with me

Granted. She's undead and more interested in your brain than your cookies...

I wish I was happy

Granted. She's undead and more interested in your brain than your cookies...

I wish I was happy

Granted, happy like shappy

Granted. She's undead and more interested in your brain than your cookies...

I wish I was happy


Granted, but your last name is Meal.

I wish I had X-ray vision.

Granted. You are a powerpuff

I wish i had one oil well in north pole

Granted, you are now projectile vomit man!

I wish I had 11 fingers.

I wish I had X-ray vision.

Granted, but the x-rays make your eyes burn out

I wish I could talk to animals and humans

I wish I had 11 fingers.
Granted, Welcome to Tasmania! Your brother is your father, and your sister is your daughter.

I wish I could talk to animals and humans
Granted, But you are deaf.

I wish I could understand every language in the universe

Granted, Welcome to Tasmania! Your brother is your father, and your sister is your daughter.

ewww!!!

Granted, But you are deaf.

I wish I could understand every language in the universe


Granted, but you are mute so can't respond back in their language

I wish I could meet Luke, Tara, or Birq in person

I wish I could meet Luke, Tara, or Birq in person

Granted.... you find it strange that you only met one person, till you suddenly realise that they're just different personalities of a Schizophrenic ( sorry spelling ) person.

I wish I had a new MacBook Pro .....

I wish I had a new MacBook Pro .....
Granted
but it is susan Mcbook a scotish prostitute

i wish i could time travel

granted but you time travel to prehistoric times and get half eaten by a dinosaur and left to the terodactyls (spelling) to finish you off...

i wish that i could see music

Granted, But you can no longer hear it (or anything else for that matter)

I wish you would go away :)

granted, im going away on holiday in a few months!! ;drunk

i wish that araT turned into Timmetie's underwear for a year

Granted, but Timmetie doesn't wear underwear. And clothes he wears occasionally.

I wish we became a bit smarter.

Granted. however the family of Angry Badgers who were already there get upset and ravage araT, leaving nothing but a bloody pulp on the floor. Once satisifed, they turn on the person who sent them.

I wish I had a nuke that could ignore nuke-shields

Granted, but you get your a$$ banned for scripting, because this is totally impossible.

I wish I had the Force.

Granted, But now you have guys with blasters coming after you.

I wish I had a Lamorghini.

Granted. You crash into one and have to pay for it for the rest of your working life.


I wish I could get the lottery numbers in advance

Granted. But now you have every kook and desperate gambler banging on your door asking for the numbers, or some of the cash, not to mention, the Mafia has taken a stance against you.

I wish I had a guitar pedal.

Granted. You now only play through the Boss DT-100 Random Detuner.

I wish I had invisibility powers.

Granted, you are now invisible, while you are jumping happily ;bounce you hit your head and you go blind.

I wish i was Bill Gates.

Granted. You are now Billy Joe Gates of Selma, Alabama. Net worth: $5.68 and a half a pack of Marlboro reds.

I wish I were a race car driver.

Granted, but you get paralyzed in a crash while testing a racecar on a track.

I wish i didn't have to eat.

Granted. You don't have to drink, either. You'll be dead before the weekend.

I wish I could shoot hot fudge from my fingertips.

Granted. But you also pee out your fingertips too, and you get them mixed up.

I wish I could stretch fingers or any other body part like Stretch Armstrong

Granted. But as soon as your porn star contract runs out you end up finsihing out life as tire-swing rope.

I wish I had a better camera.

Granted. But you try to take photos of women while they do not know it, and you end up in jail.

I wish I had a PS3

Granted. You get a letter from your significant other that ends with:

P.S. I'm leaving you
P.S.2 I'm taking all the money out of your bank account
P.S.3 I'll send you a list of all the venerial diseases you should talk to your doctor about

I wish I had an XBox360

Granted (I have one, so much fun) But you end up burning your retinas and you can never play GEWar again

I wish I had a Gibson guitar

Granted (I have one, so much fun) But you end up burning your retinas and you can never play GEWar again

I wish I had a Gibson guitar


Granted, but to grant the wish you must give up your fingers.

I wish I had 4 wood screws, a 2x4, and a Sombrero.

Granted, but you're genuinely surprised at the discomfort of having them in your most intimate of cavities.

I wish I had a martini.

granted, but you must drink it with a gay man


i wish i would stop being so homophobic

Granted, but you find yourself so attracted to all the stereotyped "special" men in the movies that you are replused by most of society.

I wish I had the copyright on the internet.

Granted, but Al Gore still holds the patent, so he sues for everything you're worth.

I wish I had a reason to continue.

Granted, but you quickly tire of using your cowbell for a reason, throw it as hard as you can and kill all the codemonkeys and Luke in one hit, ending GEWar.

I wish I had a successful blog.

granted, your gay self-porn site has 7 million hits.

i wish i knew the info of every alliance.

Granted. You know the name of every alliance and of all of the alliance's members.

I wish I had a vodka collins.

Granted, but Vodka Collins is the stage name for a male stripper

What, No wish Generic42? then I grant you all the suffering in the world :)

I wish I had a successful business

Granted. Airconditioning business is running. Welcome to stressville and all your hair falls out!

I wish I was going on a skiing holiday

(and don't say Granted. But there's no snow...... Because that seems to be coming true :sad :mad: )

Granted, but you break you legs skiing and end up in the hospital

I wish I could have unbreakable bones

Granted
But you mistakenly take water ski's

i wish i had more money

Granted, but you have cancer and you spend all your money on its treatment.

I wish i was more intelligent.

Granted, but all the dumb people burn you at the stake for being a witch.

I wish i was you.

Granted, you are now some burnt ashes!

I wish i was more powerful.

Granted, you become the most powerfull and off course hated person in all history, you are burnt at the stake again.

I wish i was GEWar.

Wish granted, but people don't like your features and wont "play" with you...

I wish I was a wild tiger

Granted. Marlin Perkins tries to shoot you in the neck with a tranquilizer dart and shoots you in the eye instead.

I wish I had a comfy chair.

Granted, you are a comfy chair in a desert and nobody use you while sun spoils you.
I wish i was a lion flying over the sea in a sunny day in north pole.

Granted, but your body is too heavy for your wings, and you are falling into the sea which is full of sharks.

I wish i was prince of persia.

Granted, but the rug market falls through the basement and you are thrown out of your palace by raging mobs to the lions.

I wish I wasn't procrastinating.

Granted...but because you procrastinated and didn't cut the red wire, the bomb blew up in your face and you were scarred for life, lost your vision, and your girlfriend left you.

I wish that power surges made my computer faster and better...not dead and useless!

Granted, but increaserd speed causing the computer to overheat and cause a fire burning down your home.

I wish I knew the question to the answer of Life, the Universe, and Everthing

Granted.... What is six times nine...but it's not 42 and that causes you to go insane and gouge out your eyes...
I wish they'd make movies of Life, the Universe, and Everything...and So long and thanks for all the fish...

granted but the movies are boring and long (much like lord of the rings)

i wish that people would stop bothering me and let me play the game!

Granted. You are the only person left alive on Earth.

I wish the Mavericks would sweep the Heat in the NBA finals.

granted, they lose and are now the janitorial staff for the heat

i wish that the next person would have 75 wishes.

Granted. But in my wearyness I read "75 fishes" and grant them, and they are all rotten, so ha, I ruined your wish...

I wish for a pony wearing tube socks nameed Raquel that's pink and green colored and it meows instead of making horse and pony noises

Granted
But I don’t know what your going to do with £25 in a green tube sock that’s tied around cats neck so that it’s turned green.

I wish Generic42 would keep it simple

Granted, but it turns out that he has been keeping it simple once you see a wish that he considers complex.

I wish the Woot-Off (http://woot.com) would last forever.

Granted, but you end up wooting about useless stuff

I wish someone wishes for something that makes a lot of noise

Granted, but the rabid monkeys are so loud you can't hear what the wish was.

There's no such thing as a useless Woot, by the way. I wish you could understand that.

Denied.

I wisht that you would actually make a grantable wish next time, instead of trying to be clever.

Well you know how to kill a thread. Jerk.

Okay, here's a grantable one: I wish Warren were banned.

Granted, I wont corrupt that wish because I want to to stay as pure as it can be for the full banning effect

I wish for this thread to continue now

Granted
but you have trouble finding the end of your peace of thread

i wish i could touch type

granted you learn to touch type as you lost your eyesight whilst trying to drink absynth through both of your eyes at the same time.

i wish there was more trees in the world

Granted, but MARS drops a nuke, and all of the trees catch on fire

I wish I was Pingu

Granted. Global warming melts the ice caps and you lose your igloo.

I bet I could throw a football over them mountains. I wish the coach would have put me in in the 4th quarter.

Granted, but 30 seconds into your time some POTTYMOUTH on the other team trips you and you break your leg in 3 places, you are out for the rest of the world cup :p

I wish I was back in Europe...

Granted, but Europe has been moved south of the equator and Australia has replaced it.

I wish I had the formula to make Coca Cola.

Granted, but you get arrested for possesion of Cocaine

I wish I had a big bowl of home-made tomato soup

Granted, but since you don't know how to make tomato soup, you realize too late that strychnine isn't really an appropriate ingredient.

I wish I were six inches taller.

Granted
Your new high-heels are in the post

i wish i could see Birq in his new high-heels

Granted, but the sight is so gruesome, you gouge out your own eyeballs with a fork.

I wish I were on vacation.

Granted, but the sight is so gruesome, you gouge out your own eyeballs with a fork.

I wish I were on vacation.


Granted, but its with Ge420 and THEO

I wish i had more then 5 geos on the donator game

Granted but but you had to sell your soul to the devil to get it.

I wish i could fly (says the penguin)

Granted, but when you head back to Apologize for that Fight last knight you step on it first.

I wish i could fly (says the penguin)

granted but you fall from the sky every 5 minutes

(what fight and what about stepping on 5 geos? I'm lost)

I wish i wasnt lost

I wish i wasnt lost
Granted, but you find yourself in a Duck Hunting festival and you're shot dead and cooked like this (http://www.arts-culinaires.com/recettes/canard_orange.aspx) :p

I wish Luke implemented the home base decoration KML and a lot more girls played this game.

Granted, but all the girl hate you and for an alliance against you, and the homebase KML gives you a chartruese shag rug and hot pink curtains, unless you like that, in which case everything is coated in cyanide

I wish for 1000 geos added to my current funds

Granted but then there is a reset and you lose all of your money.

I wish I had just won the lottery

Granted but then there is a reset and you lose all of your money.

I wish I had just won the lottery


Granted...but due to a legal loophole, you are unable to collect the funds, and they are automatically given to me.


I wish freckle juice really existed!

granted
but it's not the freckle your thinking of

i wish i had a new dog

.... you get it, and it runs away after smelling you.


I wish i know what to wish for.. :)

granted, you decide to wish for cholera.

I wish i was this guy ---> ;101

but then the transformation got screwed and up ended like this: ;bunny

i wish for GEWAR to plunge into a dramatic world war..(seriously, i think it will be epic fun)

Granted
All players now attack you and only you 24hr a day for the next year

i wish i could think of something

Granted (... no need to add anything else)

I wish no-one had the ability to pawn my wish.

Granted - and when your chess set arrives, it turns out that you have no pawns.

I wish.......

Granted, ........
I wish I was Ronaldinho.

Granted - but thousands of screaming fans instantly gather outside your house and are so loud you can't hear yourself think and at night you can't sleep because the light from their millions of candles makes it seem like daytime.

I wish karma was one of the laws of physics.

Granted
I bet now your regreting all those mean things you have done.

I wish i had more free time

Granted, but you start getting charged for the time thus not making it free any more.

I wish I skateboard.

Granted, but it has no wheels.

I wish Australia won the soccer world cup (FIFA 2006).

Granted but then you wake up realise this wish was really only a dream

I wish the sun would come out

Granted, it is approaching the earth at 15 times the speed of light ....Epicenter; your house, your city, your earth :)

I wish I could sleep in tomorrow

Granted, but it's the last time. Ever.

I wish I could get a good raise.

Granted but then your boss changes your job description to include longer working hours.


I wish I was holidaying on Neckar Island.

granted but you die there too.

I wish not to wish again

Granted, but wait whats this...

I wish I could use my hose again...

Granted, but you probably could not find anyone to use it with.

I wish I had a supercomputer.

Granted, but your suspiciously large increase in electricity usage makes the police raid your house, your held without charge for 36 months.

I wish you weren`t the person who you actually are

Granted, but you are shown to be Tom Clancy, and start writing books with the same plot over and over again. You adoring fans catch on after a while and maul you. With a ratchet or something.


I wish I had a pastrami sandwich on toasted white bread with 1000 island dressing and sourkrout, with a side of slightly stale potato chips.

Granted, the meal is presented to you by a blood-soaked axe-weildering maniac he proceeds to kill you after you have finished your meal.

I wish my name wasn`t "Mr Seepy Peeky Train Man"

Granted. You new name is "Micro-dingus".

I wish I were independently wealthy.

Granted, but unfortunately you are only wealthy on GEWar.

I wish I could still do handstands

Granted, but you only wear a skirt. :love


I wish i could read your minds.

Granted, but just your luck you land upon Timmeties mind first... then you need 700 years of therapy to fully heal..

I wish i was a pro at something

Granted, But people dont play that sport anymore

I wish I could fly and not crash or anything (hehe)

Granted, but you can never land, either.

I wish the grass in my front yard wasn't dead.

Granted, but its this kind of grass policeman are looking for and you go to prison.

I wish i have always luck.

Granted, but you're only lucky at finding that one blade of grass that grows faster than all others in a field.

I wish I have a dollar.

Granted, but you need 2 dollars.

I wish i was one of the Beatles

Granted, but you were John Lennon, and are now dead.

I wish I was Mario Lemieux

Granted, but Mario wants his name back so he beats the crap oot of you. (Yes, the spelling is intentional)

I wish everybody got my jokes.

Granted and everybody gets your koes but nobody finds them funny!! :) :)

I wish my other car and Audi TT!!

Granted
it's a pity you can only drive a pedal car

i wish Birq would release a cd of his cow-bells

Granted, but right after you begin listening to the cd you have an accident and lose all your hearing so that the cowbell becomes the only thing you hear for the rest of your life.

I wish I could swim in the fountain of youth...

Granted...but you swam for too long...and now you're nothing but a blastula (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blastula).

I wish I was travelling the world with Maudi!

Granted, but you're driving this car: http://www.cttech.org/GOODWIN/technologies/machine/shriners-car/12-12-03-032.jpg

I wish someone would cure the common cold.

Granted, but the cure turns out to be a steady diet of offal sushi.
I wish it were Friday.

Granted, but it's Freaky Friday (the Jamie Lee Curtis/Lindsey Lohan version) and you're stuck watching it over and over for the rest of your life.

I wish I could go see X-Men 3 today.

Granted, but what you did not realise is that it is actually an X rated movie for men who go together in 3's.

I wish I could see Bocelli live in concert

Granted, but the monkey paw has degraded hearing, and it thought you wanted to "receive botulism and constipation".

I wish this thread wasn't dying.

granted... specter posts again with a dumb comment

i wish birq got killed by a cow

granted but he first of all managed to steal the legendary cow bell off of it before being hunted down and gassed to death...

i wish i was the first man on the moon.

Granted, but the ship leaves you there

I wish my computer could run better games than Warcraft 3

granted, but then you become a big cyber-geek and you suddenly run to the mirror and find out... you already are? wtf

I wish I didnt have a silicone band permently fixed to my right eye. (true)

Granted. Instead, you now have silicone breast implants (48GGG).

I wish I had a good, stiff drink.

Granted, but I was nearby and drank it all

I wish I could drink all day and just keep that "good buzz"

granted, you get stung by a bee

i wish that.... birq lost his virginity.

Granted, but it was to you and you haven't walked straight since

I wish I would get a huge raise at work

Granted. But the boss got in a car accident and work and the buisness shot down.

I wish could be like ;bounce

Granted, but the people on Uranus mistake u for one of them and take u there where u die instantly.

i wish i was Like Luke :sad

Granted but the NSA confiscates your PC and locks you up

I wish it would stop raining

Granted. The 754-day drought begins today.

I wish those people would stop playing mariachi music outside my hotel room window. *Edit: I got my wish -- they're now going back and forth between calypso and dub. I'd like to officially apologize to whatever music god I have offended.

Granted. However you apologize to Roqqeus, the wrong god. The Calypso music continues until you go crazy, dress up in full chain mail, rent a horse, and go postal in the nearest mall. The SWAT team catches you, and you get pelted with those little lead-filled bean-bag thingies. Because of the armor, this just pisses you off, and you you try to swing your ******* sword towards the nearest of the cops, but it catches on a trash can. The police try to tackle you, but you are too heavy, so they just run you over with a car. You die, by the way.

I wish all who read this would send me 13.5 geos.

Granted. After the 20 Geo viewing and handling fee, you owe each person that reads it 6.5 Geos.

I wish I had tried a halberd instead of a ******* sword.

You try a halberd, but you discover that the haft is just a pool noodle painted to look like steel. You pull the cardboard edge off the top, and wave it wildly over your head. In fact, this tactic works, as the police stop shooting you, and just begin to laugh. But they still run you over.

I wish Birq would stop getting in trouble with the cops.

Granted, now he's their chief of police and sends them to arrest you for violation of the "overly-long explanation of granting" law

I wish I had a car, like a nice one too

Granted but it is only a dinky car (Still it gives you seomthing to aspire to).

I wish I was not so tired this morning

Granted, but your lack of tiredness is caused by a genetic experiment on you that will slowely destroy your kidneys

I wish I knew the cure for cancer

Granted, but the cure for cancer is chuck norris's tears and we all know chuck norris doesnt cry

I wish i had 10 sack right now

Granted...but you ordered a 10 sack of double cheese burgers...and instead you got the fish sandwiches...and you hate those fish sandwiches!


I wish I didn't have to work today!

Granted...but since you(the best employee the company has) didn't work today the company goes under and you are now unemployeed with no money.

I wish everyone paid their bills on time so I didn't have as much work to do.

Granted...but then there is no need for you at your work, so you get fired.

I wish the Edmonton Oilers won the Stanley Cup :'(

Granted
But it won't happen till 2173 so you won't live to see it happen

i wish for world peace

Granted.

But all fighters fly to Mars and It blows up and a huge meteor lands on your house.

I wish I had a sexy girlfriend

Granted, but she is just 1 inch tall. On the way to your first date (miniature golf) she falls through a hole in your pocket and is lost forever.

I wish that when I make a wish it doesn't get corrupted and nothing bad happens.

Granted and everything in your life is all hearts and roses and you live happily ever after, then you take the rose tinted glasses off and realise it was all a horrible nightmare.




I wish I wasn't so busy today.

granted....... i'll come over and we could have a pamper day, only by the time i got there you would be assleep.

' i wish i could understand this game!!!!!!

granted then luke pulls a reset and u start from the beginning

i wish i was a pilot

i wish i was a pilot

granted.... You're an harbour pilot but as you're getting on your first ship... you slip and fall... and get crushed between the tug and the cargo ship.. splat... can you say rust stain.. cos you look like that now.... sorry...

I wish GEWar would have a end-game goal.

granted.... You're an harbour pilot but as you're getting on your first ship... you slip and fall... and get crushed between the tug and the cargo ship.. splat... can you say rust stain.. cos you look like that now.... sorry...

I wish GEWar would have a end-game goal.There is, make sure socrates holds no cities and cant make any armies so that he eventually goes mad and quits.

I wish I had a rabbit that danced like this ;bunny and has a rocket launcher like this ;rocket and glasses like these ;beer and was green like this ;bounce

Granted, but you are sent in to a rehab for smilie addiction (what else am I going to say in this odd case?)
I wish I able to grant my own wishes, so this game couldn't corrupt them.
-Zinc, destroyer of Worlds. :world ;rocket

You are, but the spell you cast to allow you to do this also makes you a masochist (spelling?) and want to corrupt your wishes

I wish when the reset came I was given 100,000,000 geos to start with because of a glitch and Luke let me keep it

Granted, but then you lose it all in a bet you made w/ zinc.

I wish for a turkey sandwich.
-Zinc, destroyer of Worlds. :world ;rocket

Granted, but we bet again and I win it, then eat it.

I wish I had my geos back

Granted, but because we're in a GEWar recession, they're only worth a tenth of what they used to be.

I wish I didn't have to work today.

Granted, but because we're in a GEWar recession, they're only worth a tenth of what they used to be.

I wish I didn't have to work today.

Granted, you get fired and are now unemployed.

I wish I could fly to Greece tomorrow already.

Granted...but the pilot decided to have a few too many drinks...and your plane crashed landed when you got to greece...


I wish that Red Ivan would stop road-raging over the phone to me...

Granted...but the pilot decided to have a few too many drinks...and your plane crashed landed when you got to greece...


I wish that Red Ivan would stop road-raging over the phone to me...

Granted, but only after he ran the inconsiderate piece of human garbage off the road, into a ditch, and slit his throat--drinking the spurting blood to cool down in this inclimate Chicago weather.

I wish that Mercury stop taking me (whilst on the phone) with her to the bathroom. ;nopom

Granted, but now Mercury's bladder has expoloded and you have to live with the guilt.

I wish it wasn't so hot.

Granted: But after paying for your cooling bill in 3 months time, you now have no money.


I wish I could stop looking at the forums and actually turn up to work on time for once......